Women's Clothes, Part 2

For All the Guys Who have Wondered how Women’s Clothes are Sized, Part 2

I understand the terms Petite, Misses, Junior, and Women’s when it comes to sizing female clothing. I did not set out to know this vast array of information. I did not desire to become an amateur expert on ladies clothing. I was forced into it…against my will…pounded into me like a round steak (hey, I never I said I did not know cooking).

I remember it like yesterday. It all seemed so innocent way back in early 1997. What started out as a wonderful family gathering and conversation turned ugly…fast. Tornadoes do not appear any more abruptly; lightening cannot strike any faster; two-year-olds cannot disappear any more quickly…than my mother-in-law’s face can turn into a death gamma ray. Even more astounding than the quickness of her change, is the silence by which her destructive force to human flesh is carried out.

I, sitting in the den, in my chair, could not help but hear a conversation between my wife and her mother. They were discussing an oft-talked about subject among womanhood, bodily expansion and how to control it. The both of them had just gone through periods whereby they were not only able to stop it, but to force it into somewhat of a submissive withdrawal. Included in this discussion was the subtopic of the need to buy clothes of reduced size.

Allow me to sidestep here just a moment and give you a little insight as to how my forthcoming logic will come to be. When a man goes and buys a suit, he is given an array of categories from which to find his size. For instance, I am five foot, six inches tall and have a fifty-inch chest. I wear a 50 Short suit. If I were five-foot nine, I would wear a 50 Regular. Short is for the man of below average height, Regular is for the average height man, Tall is for, you guessed it, the above average height man. In addition we, have Extra Tall, Big and Tall, Portly, etc. You can see the logic in how men’s sizes are named. The common denominator is the chest or waist size. Now back to impending trouble.

Very innocently, I embarked upon the adventure to add what, I thought, would be a somewhat complimentary comment. My mother-in-law, who shall remain nameless to protect my keester, had just said, “I am now wearing a ‘something’ W (I am not stating the actual size because though I may have been born at night, it was not last night). Are you ready for my illustrious remark? Now remember, I am a man and accustomed to men’s sizes. I said (remembering that panty buying episode), “Boy, that’s neat. It is about time they started labeling women’s clothing with some intelligence. That is neat. You actually have the size ‘something’ WIDE.”

I am not sure what came first, the change in countenance on Mom-in-law’s face or the sensation of feeling flesh pull away from my cheek bones and eye sockets. I do not know what was worse, the deathly silence as though time itself just ended or the burning sensation I felt as lasers, from her eyes, pierced my body. I believe I only lived because my naivete was genuine and my innocence, real.

I lost track of all time. I do not know if it were seconds, hours, days, or weeks, but I soon found myself getting a crammed course in female clothing size structure. I did not want it. I did not ask for it. It was like a…sentence, a sentence for a crime committed. I do not remember the arraignment, the trial, and the verdict, ET all. I just know that I have been rehabilitated (or brainwashed) to know my place with women’s sizes. Gentlemen, regardless how it may appear, the W doesn’t stand for wide.

Weekly Terryism

There is no greater gift that God can give you than a child. There is no greater responsibility than to bring that child up according to God’s Word. There is no greater joy than to see that child grow up to love the Lord.

Weekly Terryism

My faith belief system says and requires commitment. What does yours say, “In case of emergency break glass?”

Women's Clothes, Part 1

For All the Guys Who have Wondered how Women’s Clothes are Sized, Part 1

In 1982, very shortly after Martie (my wife) and I were married, I was going to the Sock Shoppe, in Griffin, GA, to buy some socks and underwear for myself. My lovely bride asked that her loving husband buy her three pairs of panties...cotton...full cut briefs. No problem. Because I knew her dress size (we had gone shopping and I remembered her dress size), I did not pay attention to what size panty she told me to get. After all, women's clothes were sized consistently like men's sizes, right?

Well, I proudly walked up to the lingerie counter and waited my turn. This dear, sweet grandmother type asked if she could help me. "Yes ma’am. I need to get my wife three pairs of panties...cotton...full cut briefs." Then she had to ask the question that would ultimately be my doom, "What size, young man?"

"I believe size eleven. Yes that's it. Size eleven."

"Are you sure," she asked quizzingly. "Yes ma’am, size eleven."

"Son (this is where I began to realize I might be in trouble), what size is your wife?"

"She is about five-foot, four inches tall and weighs about 125 pounds. She wears a size 11/12 dress."

"Son (she said it again), I don't believe she wears a size eleven panty. Are you real sure she told you size eleven, not size seven?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's not a seven. Yep, she said eleven."

"Oh kaaaay, but I think you are mistaken, young man," she replied. With that said, she reached under the counter and pulled out a pair of size eleven’s. She unfolded them three or four times (at this point, I was in serious doubt of my surety of size). Then she held up this boat sail (picture my arms spread open with my hands approximately three feet apart). "Son, are you positive this is the size your wife wears?''

"NO MAAM. She does not wear that size. Me and her both could get in those and have room left over. I do not know what size she wears. Evidently you women don't size things the way men do; size 42 pants and size 42 boxer shorts are the same. My wife will have to come buy her own panties cause I ain't even gonna try to take home the size seven. There's more than four numbers difference between what she wears and those. Uh, huh, no way, she can buy her own."

"Would there be anything else, Sir?"

"No, ma’am. Thank you."

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Still alive,
Terry Hawkins

Thought Provoking Article

Dr. Mike Halsey, President of Free Grace Seminary and Pastor of County Line Church - both of Hampton, GA, wrote the thought provoking article found in the following link:

Five Churchy Statements God Never Made

Weekly Terryism

Through the years, as I have taught bible studies, preached sermons, made sales presentations, gave political speeches, wrote papers, etc., I would accidentally say something good and worth repeating. My wife suggested that I start keeping track of these "terryisms." This is the first of many I will post and hopefully, continue to do so on a weekly basis. I don't know if I'm the original author of this first one or not because I've been saying it since I was 17-years old (about 10 years ago - NOT).

"If you see the need for something to be done, then then chances are you are the one to do it."

Why Does One Do a Blog?

I've often wondered why anyone would think that anyone else would want to read their blog? Not wanting to assume that all bloggers are self-centered, huge egocentric folks, I thought that maybe these people thought they had something that needed to be read and pondered. But, after reading several blogs, I've come to the conclusion that not everybody has something to say that would benefit others and I came to the conclusion that they are not all ego-maniacs. What I finally concluded was that the majority do a blog for self-expression. They use it as therapy - to get it of their chest so to speak. Another common use I found for blogging is keeping friends and family informed of the goings on in that individual's life. And, there are those that do try to perpetuate a message and an ideal. Some are worth reading; a lot aren't. Regardless of the reasons for a blog, I'm convinced that it is way of communicating that is here to stay - at least until the next fad.

So, why am I doing a blog? For all the reasons mentioned above. I'll keep friends and family informed, I'll get things off my chest, I'll write expressions of what's going through my mind, and I will put forth thoughts on politics, faith, culture, etc. Of course, everyone will want to read my blog.

First Post

This is the first post. The next will be the second.